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How to be happy is a seemingly simple yet complex topic.
Most of us do have some idea about how to be happy. We also have many others writing and talking about the same, and research being conducted.
And yet, you will rarely find a person who is content.
Do you know why? It is because we always look for happiness outside of ourselves.
We seek things that would bring us joy. We try to look for people who will make us happy. We think social media numbers equal our worth.
But what makes us happy, truly? And how do we get started with lightening up our lives?
The Most Important Factor For Happiness
What we need to do is to look inside. A lack of happiness is a reflection of a lack of something within.
What is it, you ask?
Peace.
The goal is — Peace.
Peace is the way to happiness.
What brings you peace is a very subjective matter. The truth is, there is no one-stop solution to being happy. But the basics remain constant.
Here are three essential factors that will bring more peace to your life.
1. Acceptance
Acceptance is the first step towards peace and happiness.
Acceptance of what?
A multitude of things, like:
- Accept the reality: Until you first acknowledge how things really are — what your pain points are, what needs to change, where you are giving your power away, what thought processes are keeping you stuck — you can never get to the place of seeking solutions. If you do not seek a solution, your current situation will never change.
- Accept that you cannot change others: This is an absolute waste of energy and time. You can never stop a bully from bullying. They will do what they want to do, unless they themselves want to stop. You can only take steps to protect yourself, but you cannot change them. So, let them be on their own journey and figure things out for themselves. Only focus on making decisions that are right for you.
- Acknowledge and accept that you are your hero: You can sit there and wait for others to understand you and make things better for you (which never happens), or you can take charge of your own life. You are not here to follow someone else but to find your unique path. Only you can pull yourself out of a mess and intentionally make good decisions.
2. Define What Happiness Means To YOU
Because happiness means different things to different people, you should be clear about what brings you happiness. If you don’t know what it is yet, keep going with living life; you will eventually.
A few points that are crucial for most of us are:
- Financial success — whatever that means to you. Try not to fixate on a specific, generalised number. Figure out a number that enables you to live a good life.
- Relationships — What kind of people are you surrounding yourself with? What type of conversation happens around you? Do those conversations and get-togethers make you happy?
- Health — We often forget that physical and mental health affects our happiness score. So, make sure you make decisions that promote good health. Seek help when needed, and do what you can to maintain your health, depending on your age and health status.
- Meaning and purpose — While I don’t think we all have just one purpose in life, we all have at least one thing we feel drawn to. Pursue it. Explore and find something that provides meaning and purpose to our lives.
You can be high on life only when you do something that means something to you, something that excites you. So, explore and find meaning in life.
There can be other things that are valuable to you. So, do not think these are the only four things that can possibly make you happy.
The point is to figure out what happiness means to YOU because only then can you decide what your approach to life should be like. Find what’s working and what’s not working. It’s a trial-and-error process.
You will be happy when your surroundings are customised to favour your happiness.
3. Avoid Comparison
Comparison is the mother of all negative emotions. It gives birth to jealousy, hate, anger, envy, feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, and an overall negative mindset.
Don’t compare your life with others. None of us is here to walk the same path. Some people will always be more privileged than you. Some will always be richer than you. Some will always be better-looking than you. Someone will always be luckier than you. Some people will always be wiser than you. It is just what it is.
On the same note, you are more privileged, richer, better-looking, luckier, and wiser than some people.
Our society conditions us to label things as ideal or superior. But who decides what’s perfect and what’s not? There are no authorities, just opinions.
Get above this judgment, and try to find the value in everything. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. So do you.
There may be things other people admire about you. You just don’t know it.
Just because I, at the moment, can’t see my strengths doesn’t mean I don’t have any.
Other people’s strengths are not your pain points. You have to find what really is. Looking at yourself as a victim of life and fate has never helped anyone. Instead, focus on what you can do to build your life.
So, How To Be Happy?
I wish there were a straightforward answer to this, but there isn’t. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it.
Instead of focusing on a certain number or fixating on the things that are making other people’s lives seem happier, try to find what makes you happy.
Focus on finding peace within yourself. What brings you peace?
When peace and acceptance are the dominant feelings in your mind, you can be happy even in the most dire situations.
© Quirky Writes 2025
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